PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize