We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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