there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You can't special order awesome
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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