ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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