i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize