Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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