ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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