Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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