You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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