I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
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Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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