So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
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you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
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dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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