yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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