i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
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please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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