It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize