guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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