I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize