How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize