Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize