I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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