i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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