ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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