Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize