i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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