why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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