Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize