Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
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Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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