People with herpes should wear stickers.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize