Define "chronic" masturbator.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You made out with two different species that night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize