your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
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You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
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i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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