Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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