I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
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So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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