Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
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There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
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So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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