all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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