I wish I could teleport
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize