i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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