I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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