Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I believe in your delicious
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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