I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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