Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize