i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
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You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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