Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize