I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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