If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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