you guys were way drunker than both of me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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