A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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