Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize