When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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