Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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