the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
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