its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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